Karakura Host Club!
by SincerelySarcastic
Summary: Once again, Tamaki draws the Host Club into another extravagant plan- Only this time, it's a transfer program! With an unwilling Haruhi and a school weary author who tries her best to find out how many ways she can torment Ichigo, it'll be strange indeed.
1. Prolouge: What is Milord Thinking?

Author's note: Bleach and its characters and Ouran and its cast do not belong to me. I'm revamping this project because I had long ago abandoned it, so it will hopefully be improved and more detailed. Sincere thanks to those who reviewed the first version of this! Please let me know, if you were a previous reader, if this has improved or not. Many thanks, and enjoy!

* * *

"Karakura Town? Where the heck is that?"

For everyone in the room, it was all blank stares, except for a confidently smiling Tamaki, looking quite pleased with himself and Kyouya, who most likely already knew of the plan and was paying no attention to Tamaki whatsoever as he tapped away on his laptop, taking care of some business or another.

Everyone but Kyouya sat on the giant couch as Tamaki paced back and forth, looking eager to share his plan but keeping it to himself for the moment.

"Come on, Milord." Kaoru said, looking bored but paying attention to the ringleader of the plan nevertheless. "I've never even heard of this small town. Where is it?"

"I bet it's in Japan, Kaoru." Hikaru drawled out in an equally bored voice, but just as curious as his brother was. "So what exactly is Milord trying to say?"

"Well, since both of you ask, it is where the Beginning Lessons Excessively At a Commoners' High school plan will take place!" He declared boldly.

"But we'll call it B.L.E.A.C.H for short." Kyouya interrupted smoothly, and then gestured for Tamaki to carry on.

"What?"

That was pretty much everyone's simultaneous reaction to his words.

The room was nearly empty considering that today was one of the days that the Host Club was closed to customers. Renge decided (Or more accurately, blackmailed and demanded with a smile) to attend this meeting, Kyouya grudgingly accepted the fact that there was no profit to be made at the moment, Hunni went and Mori followed, the Hitachiin twins tagged along for the fun of it, and Haruhi was invited courtesy of everyone else (In other words, was forcefully dragged into it against her wishes, as usual).

"It's a grand scheme indeed! We, the Ouran High School Host Club, shall participate in a transfer program that will last for exactly a month or so!" Tamaki grandly speculated.

_A month or so? How is that exactly?_ Haruhi thought critically while resisting the urge to put her head into her hands. _Please tell me that I don't need to get involved in this…_

"Since none of us have the prior experience of the commoners' daily high school life, it would be a great educational benefit to see how the poor folk learn and go about their daily routines in their average lives, wouldn't you agree?" He went on, oblivious as always as to how unintentionally rude his words were.

_How is that educational?_

"The group will consist of Kyouya, the twins, dear Haruhi, Hunni, Mori, Renge, and I! In other words, the Host Club."

_But technically, isn't Renge just a customer? She must have bribed Kyouya…Everyone who goes here is practically filthy rich. _She thought reasonably.

"We leave tomorrow!"

"What?!" Haruhi said out loud with visible alarm this time. Tamaki always planned and did ridiculous, extravagant stunts like this, but this was where she drew the line. He still hadn't informed them where Karakura Town was, but everyone else seemed just fine with it.

"Haru-chan", Hunni started, with puppy dog eyes adjusted to its maximum cuteness appeal and a hint of tears to boot, "Mori and Bun-Bun really want for you to come along, and so do I! We talked to your dad, Ranka, and he says that it's okay as long as you wear something girly along the way! Also-" There was a brief pause as he sniffled, and Mori immediately handed him a small silk handkerchief embroidered with tiny, pink rabbits "-It wouldn't be the same without you, Haru-chan!"

Haruhi stiffened as she looked away, knowing full well that this was mostly an act… Oh, who was she kidding; With Hunni, it might've been the real thing. Or was it? _Be strong, be strong…MUST…RESIST…_

"C'mon Haruhi, we can mock and tease milord!" Hikaru and Kaoru chorused unanimously.

"Think logically, Haruhi! A regular high school, unaffected by the sheer bias and dating appeal of money! It's like a dating sim game, with the male harem all ready to go! I'm obviously the narrator, but we definitely need a cross dress character like you!" Renge squealed in anticipation, wringing her hands together in obvious delight.

"A daughter must travel with his father on this noble business trip, lest we suffer the intense degree of separation!" Tamaki cried out dramatically, unaware of how completely ridiculous he sounded to everyone else, who promptly ignored him, as usual.

_Okay, as long as my word still counts, I'm definitely staying here…_

Then the trump card spoke up.

"Haruhi." Kyouya smoothly cut in, pushing his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose, a crafty business-like gleam in his eye as he calmly smiled, "If you participate in this, we will consider lowering your Host Club debt by a third."

Naturally, her determined resolve crumbled at this and surrendered completely, knowing that they had her, presenting an offer like this. "F…Fine. Just let me get packed first."

* * *

**Karakura High School**

"Class! Attention please! Starting tomorrow, we will be joined by a group of students from Ouran High School in their transfer program-"

"Hold on, Ouran? Isn't that the rich kids' school?" A student interrupted, not bothering to raise his hand at all.

"Be quiet, Keigo! Yes, it is the school where most of the high class teenagers go to. Remember to behave and help them out…" The teacher drawled on, her students disregarding her while chatting amongst themselves.

Orihime was cheerful at the news. "Just think, a whole new group of students joining our class. Do you think they'll be our friends?"

"It happens all the time. But don't you think it's a bit odd that they'd want to temporarily transfer from that high class school to a regular, boring old place like this? Whoever came up with that plan must be some eccentric dude, or a pompous idiot that has nothing better to do." Her friend, Tatsuki, noted.

"I dunno, Tatsuki. Say, what're you having for lunch today?"

Little would they all know the trail of chaos and havoc that often followed the Host Club in its wake.

-Finish Prolouge, continuation on Chapter 1-

* * *

Author's Note: I'm going to have fun torturing Ichigo. As the story goes on, you get bonus points if you can tell I've had a bad day at school. It's fun messing with Ichigo… Stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 1: The Madness Begins

**The Next Day…**

Ichigo barely stifled a yawn as he walked to school by himself while rubbing his eyes, certain that there would be dark circles underneath them. His bright orange hair was astray (Not that it was typically neat and combed), his shirt was untucked, and had Ichigo tripped on his way to school, it was highly likely that he would have passed out. Not that Ichigo wasn't a morning person, but…

The Hollow had appeared at 2:00 A.M., and had taken nearly two hours to defeat because he was exhausted and had turned in to be a little past midnight. Since his summer vacation had been spent training, fighting, and doing various other tasks in Soul Society, he had completely forgotten about the enormous mound of homework that sat in his room, gathering dust and neglected. The only thing he could do now was to pull at least a month's worth of all-nighters, or flunk school.

Rukia was in Soul Society for some work, so it was up to him to cover up the damage which took another two hours or so at the very least (Skyscraper. It had to be the ONE skyscraper in Karakura Town that was attacked by a Hollow, and he had to deal with it). Ichigo wasn't exactly in the mood to make a good impression on anyone, especially the people who were transferring today from this place called Ouran that everyone seemed to be gossiping about.

_What's with that anyways?_ He wondered grumpily, checking his watch and nearly swearing aloud. _Crap, I'm going to be late. Stupid Mr. Hat n' Clogs wouldn't help out unless I paid him a bunch of money, that miser…_

He opened the door to his classroom- And nearly jumped as high pitched squeals assaulted and pierced his eardrums painfully.

_WHAT…THE…HECK...? My eardrums… I think they're bleeding right now… _

At the front of the class were a group of guys (Scratch that, a group of guys and a small, blond boy toting a pink rabbit plush), one person whose gender he couldn't place, and a girl that kept jumping about, waving a camcorder here and there.

_Do they even allow those in school? The one over there… Is that a girl or a guy? Girls have short hair too, but she's kind of flat chested for a girl… Maybe I'm just comparing her too much to Orihime. Also, what's with-_

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by an incoming chalk eraser pelted across his head. It was a direct hit, and he stumbled back, nearly falling into the hallway.

"Kurosaki! Detention for coming in late and interrupting the new students' introduction!" The teacher scolded him. "Close the door and make your way to your seat. And don't even think about using that bathroom excuse to skip out on my class again today!"

Scowling, Ichigo rubbed the place where the eraser had been flung at him, and seated himself next to Keigo. Normally, he sat next to Chad or Orihime, but today he had to find out just what was going on in the first place, and Keigo sat near the back of the room, far, far away from the gaggle of girls who were squealing and talking loudly about the new arrivals.

"Wow, Ichigo." Keigo remarked while elbowing him in the ribs. "And I thought I was really good at pissing off the teacher! You're not usually this late. What held you up this morning?"

"Er… nothing. Why were all the girls in the classroom screaming just a minute ago?" He asked while almost yawning again.

"Sheesh, you really don't pay attention to new students, do you? Check them out closer. Apparently, they're rich, smart, _and_ good looking. We have some major competition here." Keigo replied with a completely serious expression, until another chalk eraser smacked him across the forehead.

"Asano! Detention with Kurosaki! Now please, Hitachiin twins, continue." The teacher finished sweetly.

Dropping his voice to a whisper, Keigo continued, "Apparently, the leader of the group, that blond guy, I think, was so rich and powerful he created a transfer program just for his club."

"That's weird." Ichigo said noncommittally while looking out the window, hoping that no Hollows would appear while he was in school. If they did, then they'd just have to wait until he got out of school… and detention. Make that possibly two months of all-nighters.

He grimaced at the amount of work he would have to make up when he got back home. For the most part, it helped you to save your friends and family and be able to defend yourself from soul eating monsters that attacked him on a daily basis, but sometimes, being a Shinigami was a pain in the ass. With his hair naturally looking bleached (Which always lead teachers and authority figures to believe he was a delinquent), being a part time Soul Reaper didn't help the weird-ness factor at all. Ichigo sighed.

"I know. But he did it anyways. You missed it, but in his introduction, he said that he was half French. Remind you of Chad?" said Keigo.

They were both suddenly interrupted by another fangirl shriek right that came from someone who was right behind of Ichigo.

"GAAAHH! Holy crap, Rukia, where did you come from?! How'd you get in?" Ichigo complained while clasping his hands over his ears just in case more fangirl screaming would follow.

_What's she doing here? I though she wanted to stay in Soul Society, but at least she can cover me if a Hollow or something comes up. Anyways, she's not the kind of girl who would scream like that. Is she using a Soul Candy substitute today? Not that annoying, cutesy rabbit thing again…God, I hate that thing._

"I snuck through the windows. Anyways, look at that! Look, look!!"

Rukia pointed to the front of the room excitedly. He glanced up, surprised to see the same little boy he had seen earlier that morning, and a serious looking dark haired high schooler standing assertively next to him like a bodyguard. The kid was holding up his toy for the entire class to see while positively radiating an adorable presence, and even the teacher looked like she wanted to jump up and hug him to death.

"Yeah, he looks pretty young to be in High School. Maybe he's someone's little brother. I guess he is somewhat cute- Oh." Ichigo finally got it.

"You see that bunny rabbit he's holding?! It's pink! And cute! AND IT'S JUST LIKE CHAPPY!!!" Rukia squealed, causing him to cover his ears a moment too late.

_You sneak through the windows, you scream your lungs out, and you point at people at your leisure? Our teacher must hate the guys in our class. _Ichigo thought grumpily.

"That's… great, Rukia." He finally managed, then rested his head into his arms, feeling a bit overwhelmed. Today was just not his day.

"Alright! Now that everyone from Ouran has finished their introductions, please seat yourselves amongst the class!" The teacher announced, going back to her desk after satisfied that everyone had stopped talking.

There was some bustle and noise as the class was rearranged, some students moving farther away, and some people trying to sit closer to the new arrivals. Ichigo picked up random drabbles of various conversations.

"C'mon Tatsuki, let's make room for them! Do you think they'll want to hang out with us?"

"Kunieda, let's sit closer to the cutie with the glasses! Kinda reminds you of Ishida, doesn't he?"

"Takashi, I wanna sit near a window~!"

"Your name's Rukia? Nice to meet you. I'm Kaoru!"

"This seat looks okay… Excuse me, does anyone sit here?" A voice mused out loud.

Someone tapped Ichigo lightly on the shoulder. "Hello. Do you mind if I sit here?" The one who he was unsure about their gender indicated to the desk on his left.

Raising his head a couple inches, he nodded sleepily, and then sunk back down. _Okay… That person's definitely a guy. _He decided, too sleep deprived to pay closer attention.

"Okay. Thanks. My name is Fujioka Haruhi. And you are Kurosaki-san?" He asked politely.

"Yeah, but you can call me Ichigo." Ichigo mumbled back.

"I thought so. The teacher here doesn't really like to use first names, does she?" The attempt at conversation was polite on Haruhi's behalf; Ichigo was already snoring by then.

"Okay then. I'll talk to you later. Good night." He said softly, and then turned to the teacher to take notes.

-Finish Chapter 1, continuation on Chapter 2-

* * *

Author's Note: Comments or suggestions on how I can improve this would be appreciated. Until Ichigo finds out otherwise, we'll refer to our dear Haruhi as 'he'. Thank you for reading, and stay tuned! –Bows-


	3. Chapter 2: Truly Troubled Tamaki!

Author's note: We'll give Ichigo some time to rest before we go about tormenting him again. After all, a victim- Ackhem, 'scuse me, a main character is more fun when he's wide awake to take all the abuse. Onwards!

DISCLAIMER: Do not try the "Tamaki Reviving" method at home, kids. I am not a medical expert, and I can't say that Yoshiyuki Sadamoto is either. I am completely serious; Imitating stunts in this chapter potentially lead to someone dying or having further harm caused to them. Whenever someone hyperventilates uncontrollably, call 911 immediately!

Now that I've got a keyboard and a captive audience, it's time to get started.

* * *

Switching time~

-**Tamaki's point of view**-

So far, this proves to be a wonderful idea. Renge, Kyouya, Hunni, Mori, the twins, and of course, Haruhi-chan are adapting well. In any case, it's not surprising that Haruhi is doing the best out of all of us. Not only does her upbringing prove to be an advantage in such situations, but she does seem to bear no grudge at for us making her attend. Now if only she'd wear the girl's uniform. As her father (figure), it's only natural that I'd want to see my cute daughter in a short skirt, right?

Back onto the subject of Karakura High, it's amazing! Everyone is so organized, and considering that the uniform was structured around such a low budget, it's almost charming. The common folk have a wonderful way of education. All my classmates are very diverse, and it seems that despite their lack of being tutored under a private school, they are just as intelligent as we are, and they're all very kind. Except…

There is this boy I was seated next to. Like Kyouya, he has short black hair and glasses, and he seems utterly unfazed by the Host Club's arrival. However, when I tried to start a friendly, engaging conversation, it led huge amounts of unforeseen trouble.

Currently, I sit in an uncomfortable yellow plastic chair that seems flimsy. The hallway smells like dusty chalk, and I, along with another, await the door with the gray peeling letters declaring it to be the principal's office to open and receive us. The one sitting with me that I now know to be called Uryu Ishida has scooted his own chair all the way down the hall and glares at me viciously even though I constantly offer him chocolate that Hunni smuggled me before I, along with Uryu, were forcibly ejected out of the classroom.

Where had this all gone wrong?

Hmm… I suppose I should think back on my attempt at conversation with him…

-Flashback!-

An hour had passed since the Host Club had introduced themselves to the class. I decided that I would try and connect with someone personally in the class. Best of friends… Nakama, the Japanese call it?

Let's see… The spiky orange headed one was asleep… The girl with a… considerably sized bosom was happily chatting away with Renge… A-ha! The person who sat next to me would do just fine!

"Hello!" I had announced, putting out my hand for him to shake as most people of Haruhi's social status would do. "I'm Tamaki Suoh, but no need for formalities. Just do as people like you usually do!"

Instead of taking my hand, he gave me a look I could only describe as similar to how Haruhi looks when she is annoyed by something and by chance happens to be looking at me for whatever reason I can't guess at all. After all, what daughter would be irritated at her father? Such a beautiful, loving bond prevents such things. Maybe in her moment of frustration, she looks at me to be consoled. Yes, that must be it! (I'm such a genius!) Anyway, the boy shot me a look and didn't shake my hand, but asked me carefully:

"Do as people like me do..?"

By the tone of his voice, I would almost say that it was suspicion of some sort. But that's impossible; We've only just met, after all. It's almost as if he was wary that I was some sort of person sent out to eliminate the last of his kind, but that's simply absurd!

I begin to wonder whether or not I have offended him. No one has taken to me with such dislike before. Panicking, I reconsidered my actions. Had I observed common people wrongly? Was my judgment tainted to the point where I am socially inacceptable? Did he…

Hate me?

Oh no! I hastily ran through my options, hoping to redeem myself somehow.

Was this envy of my wealth? If I gave him money, perhaps he would consider me to be no better than a spoiled aristocrat and would be offended to be considered drearily poor despite what reality dictates. Such is a harsh and unforgiving truth that tries to break a poor man's pride!

Do I go onto me knees and beg forgiveness? No, for even a man of the common folk would never let their pride fall to such depths. What would I gain besides losing respect? We could never be friends if such a thing occurred.

Should I propose to him? No, simply ridiculous! That's taboo anywhere, and Haruhi would want a mother-!

….No. She wouldn't.

I… Haruhi…

I never meant to disrespect the memory of…

….

Think, Tamaki! There is a greater issue at hand!

There was only one solution to such a problem.

I picked this up by accompanying Renge to what she calls a "kawn" when I was developing the B.L.E.A.C.H transfer program idea. A huge gathering of people of normal status sharing the same hobby passionately- She assured me that I was sure to learn many things about regular people. And so I watched, and was fascinated by a maneuver that was regularly performed, particularly by eager girls who donned kitty ears of many colors.

I leapt from my chair and "glomped" him with all my might, signifying embracement of whomever that person may be, the potential of an 'I-will-never-let-you-go' friendship, and a platonic bond that only men could share.

A note about "glomping" - With a name that good, what bad could come of it? It just sounds so… so… huggy. When I told everyone of it, Kaoru and Hikaru proposed that I do this to every unknown guy I met, but I refused, saving it for the most special, or in my case, dire of occasions.

The result?

Why, only the most bloodcurdling, high pitched scream I have ever had the misfortune to hear in my entire life. Frightened, I clung on even tighter and stroked the back of his palm gently in an attempt to calm his frayed nerves, but that just seem to make the poor student hyperventilate even worse as the students and teachers stared wide-eyed at us. (Well, Kaoru and Hikaru were giving me the thumbs-up signal and I think Renge was squee-ing, but…)

Wait, hyperventilate?

Introducing myself to normal high school students and learning their customs was devilishly tricky, but this I knew how to deal with, from that strange show Renge made me watch. (Something about Angels and giant robots and interestingly, high school students who weren't so normal.)

Without hesitation, I gently brought my mouth to his and proceeded to try and get his breathing to steady, lacking a paper bag for the proper method. His hands quickly grabbed onto my wrists tightly like handcuffs, and whether he wished for me to die or come even closer in his state of panic, I knew not. Perhaps both.

Pressed so close to him, my chest to his, through his thin shirt I could feel his heart fluttering like a butterfly desperate to find refuge. (Or was that my own?) What I had taken for a slender build at first was actually a thin, vulnerable body.

His lips were immensely soft, and I regretted viewing them as cynical because of his initial treatment of me. Such silken, sweet lips… I couldn't get enough…

I hesitantly poked out my tongue to taste them just for the briefest of moments. The taste was heavenly.

And that's when I knew.

I _really_ had to ask him what flavor of chapstick he used when he calmed down.

Finally, he did. His glasses were askew, and I gently pushed them back in place with my finger. With surprising calmness, I registered the fact that I may have stolen his first kiss. In all fairness, would it be more accurate to say he stole mine by panicking like that? Of course!

Before we were shoved violently out the door by the outraged teacher and Uryu refused to speak to me at all, I had managed to whisper one thing in his ear.

"Was that strawberry or cherry flavored?"

-Finish Chapter 2, continuation on Chapter 3-

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Reviews are loved and prompt me to put out chapters faster, comments to improve my writing are awesome, and any mistakes I make, please tell me of them! That's all for now! Bye~ (P.S. Tamaki x Strawberry/Cherry(?) chapstick is now my one true pairing)


End file.
